Putting your pet down

[NJGIRL]

I know that I am really late to this conversation but I thought I might have something to add here.

I have had to euthanize between 50- 75 animals in my adult life. I started out at 17 volunteering for my local shelter and have adopted many dogs and cats...more than the usually person. From there I ran a small animal rescue for many years (Hamsters, Rats, Guinea Pigs, Mice etc.). Then I got into TNR and now maintain a successful feral cat colony. My point is that I have been involved in the "pet business" full time for over 30 years now and I have seen it all and have had to do it all.

It is never easy no matter how many times you have to do it. I have spent thousands of dollars trying to save an animal and some have died in their sleep without me knowing that there was a problem. Many have been 17, 18, 19 years old but some have been 7, 8, 9 years old. No matter the dollar amount spent, time taking them back and forth to the vet, or age, I always feel the same when they are gone. I always feel guilty. Maybe I didn't do enough, maybe I waited too long, maybe I didn't see the signs soon enough. I always beat myself up and second guess my decisions.

I follow a formula now that follows common sense when emotions are not playing a part of the scenario, but this does not make me feel any less guilty in the long run either.

Long story short: In June my 7 year old beagle mix fell down 3 steps and burst a disc in his neck. We thought he just hurt his leg but within hours he couldn't move any of his legs. We took him to the University of Penn and had surgery done and expected a three day stay in the hospital and a long 2 month recovery at home. Well after 9 days in the hospital and a $17,000.00 bill they couldn't get him off the ventilator for more than an hour at a time. On father's day we made the heart wrenching decision to remove him from the vent because they couldn't tell us when or if he would be able to breathe on his own again and we just couldn't afford an unlimited bill. I still cry everyday for that dog.

I'm telling this story because sometimes no matter what you do you will always feel guilty. If we didn't OK the initial surgery we would have felt guilty, if we didn't give him 6 additional days in the hospital we would have felt guilty....guess what we did all of those things and still feel guilty.

I am going to be hypocritical here, but please don't second guess yourself. If you know deep down in your heart that there was nothing else you could do for your pet, then you made the right choice. Unfortunately it is all part of owning a pet.

[emerzmom]

I feel for you. I have had to do this a few times and it is never easy. My thoughts are with you. Pets are family!

Julie