A Rant and Pixie Dust Needed

[White Rose]

Hi all,

My grandmother passed away Wednesday evening after a long life. It was coming for many months now, and while death is never easy, we did have sufficient time to prepare.

I did want to get some advice/help on a situation, though. Her viewing is tomorrow and I've been in touch with a few of my best friends on arrangements. Two of these friends had their grandmothers pass away while we were in college together and I made it a point (along with my other friends) to attend their viewings. Now, I did make it a point to tell my friends they were under no obligation to attend my grandmother's viewing (which may be my mistake) and now these same two are telling me they probably won't be able to make it tomorrow.

I feel incredibly selfish because I got upset about it and now I just don't know what to say. I understand they're busy in their own lives right now but I just always thought since I went and supported them in their time of need...and it also doesn't look like any of my other friends are able to come either.

I don't know. Am I being incredibly selfish for being upset/annoyed they probably won't be there tomorrow? It was probably my own fault in stating they didn't have to come in the first place.

Thank you so much for your thoughts on this.

[Capt_redshirt]

I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my grandma a little over 3 years ago. It can be very difficult to loose a love one. You have a right to feel selfish and upset its part of the healing process. Keep in mind tho that even tho they cant be there I'm sure they wanted to be. Their thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this time of grief. I hope this helps

[tinkwest]

A viewing can be difficult for some. While my Mother had many friends and a large church family, most came for the services only and very few came for the viewing.

Bless you and your family during this time.

[disney obsessed]

I am truely sorry for your loss.

An important thing to remember is that you have had a great loss and it is magnifying the loss you feel about your friends not being at the viewing.
My opinion is that this is a normal response to the situation. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

My suggestion is to make a plan to have a lunch or dinner get together in the not so distant furture. That way they have some control over their schedule and you will all have each others
Undivided attention.