What is the deal?

[csdavis]

Everytime, and I mean 7 times in 8 years, when we decide to go to WDW, a certain family member decides it sounds good and goes at the same time. (Last year they couldn't get reservations.) We thought this year was top secret until a friend let it slip and low and behold I get an email with their confirmation- same dates, same resort. I don't want to be ugly about it but we would really like for our family vacation to be ours. Last year without them was the best time we had ever had. Even the kids commented that is was nice to be just us! Any advice?

[It'sWDW4me]

Any chance you can change your dates? Even a few days either way would mean a few days on your own. How about changing resorts (without letting anyone know, of course). If either is just not possible, maybe you could request a room "as far away from the 'John Doe' family as is possible."

Good luck!

[SBETigg]

I see four potential options.

1) Make the best of it and just go with the flow, do your own thing when possible but be friendly and charitable and just realize that this isn't the year to break away.

2) Cancel and reschedule for another time. (This is honestly what my husband would do. He hates conflict but he considers our Disney time precious away-from-it-all and will not share it).

3) Be sneaky and just try to avoid them. You might be able to pull it off.

4) Be honest. Tell them that this time, your Disney time is your special family time away from it all and you really want to be away-from-it-all including friends and relatives, that if you see them, you're going to pretend not to know them and keep walking (or be friendly but brief and then go your own way). Everyone needs a vacation. You're not doing anything wrong and people should understand. Unfortunately, they might take it the wrong way.

It sounds like an unexpected glitch that could really change your vacation, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Best wishes that it works out!

[clou1028]

Everytime, and I mean 7 times in 8 years, when we decide to go to WDW, a certain family member decides it sounds good and goes at the same time. (Last year they couldn't get reservations.) We thought this year was top secret until a friend let it slip and low and behold I get an email with their confirmation- same dates, same resort. I don't want to be ugly about it but we would really like for our family vacation to be ours. Last year without them was the best time we had ever had. Even the kids commented that is was nice to be just us! Any advice?

Wow! That's very presumptuous of them. Is this just one person, or family/couple? I am just thinking maybe if it is a single person, they just are tagging along so they don't have to go by themselves. Doesn't excuse the bad manners, though, I guess.

[vicster]

I hope it's a large resort??? Funny how you can get lost at a large resort.

[caryrae]

Probably better to be honest and say you want your Disney time to be you and your Family's time alone together without friends or other reletives. Looks like until you say something or never tell anyone when you go on a Disney vacation so it doesn't slip out they will always be there. I am sure you wouldn't mind them being there every once in a while but not all the time. They have to understand that unless you ask them to come along they shouldn't invite themselves.

[gerald72]

Something's not right that they need to follow you around like that. Although it's a public place, so I suppose they have the right to go whenever they want.
I'd just keep it a secret as to the dates I am going, although sometimes that's difficult because people can see when you have off work or the kids will be out of school.
I'd just do what other people have suggested: A last minute date-change (even two or three days either way). I would think a resort change would be the easiest solution.
If all else fails, it's a big place, and I'm sure not too hard to lose someone. Just don't let them know your daily plans.

[Dsnygirl]

I would just do what a couple of previous posters suggested, and tell them, "Hey, we got your e-mail that you're headed to Disney - that's great! We're going the same timeframe, but this year, we really need to get away "just us", so if you're good with that, that's great... we really plan on keeping things just "our family" this year. I hope your feelings aren't hurt in any way, we've enjoyed the past trips, but really need to do things on our own this trip!" or something similar. I'd be firm but kind, and make sure they understand that this is in no way a group trip. Good luck!

[mousetrapper]

This happened to us our first trip to WDW. It wasn't a family member but good friends of ours.

I was actually thrilled they would be there at the same time, until I started thinking about it ... I had very carefully researched our trip and made ADRs etc., whereas they didn't schedule anything and played everything by ear, doing whatever they felt like each day without any real plan.

Plus they are a family of six, and at the time had a toddler and baby who needed naps, whereas we are four, with DDs 8 and 5 at the time and raring to go.

Well, I ended up feeling guilty most of the trip because they would say, "Hey let's get together for dinner tonight!" or "Let's meet at Magic Kingdom tomorrow!" and I'd cringe thinking there was no way I could rearrange everything at that point!

We'd see them in passing as we were rushing to an ADR or dashing to another park to see a parade or fireworks - things they had no clue about ... it was almost comical. They talk about it to this day - 10 years later! They have a good sense of humor about it but I'm sure they had their feelings hurt a little bit.

We were able to spend one evening EMH at MK with them which gave us memories we'll never forget...

[LuvDaDuckMost]

I'm probably the only one who would answer the email with 'you're going xxxxx? Oh, wow! That is a shame as we are going to be heading there on xxxxx. In other words, I'd give them the wrong date and see if they change theirs. But, if they didn't, I wouldn't admit ours was the same date unless I ran into them there. THEN I would say something like, we wound up changing our dates and totally forgot YOU were coming this week.. But then, I'm passive aggressive.

[jennsky]

I would send them an email similar to what someone else said saying "we're really looking forward to having a "family" vacation this year because we haven't had the opportunity for many years. I didn't realize you were going at the same time. Maybe we can hook up one evening for EMH?" Then you're being "polite" by inviting them to hang out for just the one night but also letting it be known that you were planning on a FAMILY ONLY vacation. The last two trips I've taken to Disney have been with extended family and this year it's JUST US and I am so happy about being able to do things on OUR schedule. Heck, if you really want to make sure you do things by yourselves, see if you can switch to another resort. Not that you should have to do that, but it might ease your fears of running into this person on a potentially daily basis.

[Running_Bell]

wow... I know your pain. We had this happen our last visit and it is happening again in Oct. Our only saving grace is that we stay in the campground and they stay in another resort. We let them know that we cannot have other vehicles at our site, so the only way they could visit us is to park at the lot and take a bus and then we tell them we aren't going to be at our site anyway. That deters them. We never share with them what time we are going to the parks or dinner or anything. We just go as if they aren't there. If they call us, we just let it go to voice mail. We have just gotten into the mindset that we are two separate groups on vacation at the same time... we are not vacationing together.

I'm assuming you are staying at the campground too since this was in the camping forum... does this mean they are staying also at the campground? I'm sure you could request a loop that isn't close to that family.

[csdavis]

Thanks guys! We are both staying at FW so I think I am going to take some of your advice and call ahead to request some space. I am also going to let my husband handle the "we need our space" talk before we go!

[TikiLounger]

This happened to us the year we stayed a the CBR. My husband's sister and her family decided to book at trip that year, too. They pumped us for information about where to stay and when the best time to go would be. We tried to tell them that we were just trying the CBR for the first time and couldn't give them any particulars or a review...but...they went ahead (with no research of their own) and booked the CBR for the same week! Yikes! They arrived a day before us and who are the first people we see walking after checking in and heading to the store? Yup...them. They were very quick to fill us in on how much they hated the resort, Disney, and the food. Jeez. They'd only given it a day. They even went so far as to comment that they'd never take our travel advice again. Um...hello...Anyway, we spent the rest of our trip avoiding them. It was easy. CBR is big and the parks are bigger.

[tmosier]

I would just do what a couple of previous posters suggested, and tell them, "Hey, we got your e-mail that you're headed to Disney - that's great! We're going the same timeframe, but this year, we really need to get away "just us", so if you're good with that, that's great... we really plan on keeping things just "our family" this year. I hope your feelings aren't hurt in any way, we've enjoyed the past trips, but really need to do things on our own this trip!" or something similar. I'd be firm but kind, and make sure they understand that this is in no way a group trip. Good luck!

I really like this approach. It's honest yet kind. Maybe you could plan one day together though. Good luck to you!