Favorite ride jokes, lines, etc.

[Celestria]

ok first, i KNOW this isn't from the parks... it's from a movie.. but it's soo funny.. it's a disney qoute (kinda) from hunchback

i'm free i'm free.... dangit!

[Bobby T]

#1: HM: All our ghosts have been dying to meet you. This one can hardly contain himself. (Ghastly Laughter)

#2: See my signature.

[Mendelson]

At ToT while looking for the now-gone letters in the case that spelled out "evil tower u r doomed" we were rushed along by a CM saying, "move along, move along...nothing to see here, keep moving."

Same thing happened outside of HM while looking for the ring in the cement.

And one that can really take up a lot of your time is looking at all the fake movie posters in the waiting area for ITTBAB.

[Tigerinvestigator]

Jungle Cruise : "you see that plane crash, that can only mean one thing......Hippos!.......... anti-aircraft hippos"!

COP: "No privacy at all around this place" "Sorry Orville".


Dinosaur: "You're not gonna make it, you're not gonna make it!" "You made it"!

[Meteora]

Sam the Eagle : I...I don't want to see this foolishness!
Gonzo : What kind of foolishness do you want to see?

This was my yearbook quote when I graduated from high school in 2002.

[kemps@wdw]

All of the "bear" jokes from the Pioneer Hal Players @ the Hoop-Dee-Doo!

[cindchan]

Jungle Cruise:

"Be sure to take your children by the hand. Any children left on the boat will be taken over to "It's a Small World", where their little feet will be nailed to the floor and they'll be forced to learn that song in seven different languages."

After offering some napkins to a CM at TOT to mop up some water on the floor.

"No no, that's okay. That's what maps are for."

And most of the Muppet lines. ^_^

Jedi Training(after a bad joke told by the Jedi Master):
"I sense a disturbance in the Force! Jedi have very few jokes, but the ones we do have you will find funny." (using the mind control hand movement)

[foorthofer]

From Muppet 3-D

Those two dude up in the balcony:

"Do you think there really is life on other planets?"

"What do you care, you don't have one on this planet!"

[Dreamin' of Disney]

Muppet Vision - When you first walk into the attraction, on the right hand side just beside the turnstiles, there is a reception window with a sign that says " Be back in 5 minutes. The key is under the mat"

On the floor there is a foot mat and sure enough if you lift it and look, there is a key there on the floor!!

Love the little disney touches like this.

[Dreamin' of Disney]

And one that can really take up a lot of your time is looking at all the fake movie posters in the waiting area for ITTBAB.

There is a funny one in Muppet Vision as well. It's one of those thingy's they use when snapping a Take for a movie (ex. Action scene TAKE 1...TAKE 2... I think you get what I mean now) But where it says Take instead of a # being there it has the words "my wife, please" ! I thought that was pretty funny!

[darthmacho]

TTA: "Visitors from Galaxy M-31, please keep all forward facing tentacles away from on-coming metro-liner vehicles..."

HAHAHAHAHA!

I also like the old prospector's voice during the Thunder Mountain safety speil. I don't think it's actually supposed to be funny, but we always thought it was!

[cfoshe]

One time on the safari ride we have a drive say something the effect that you did not need to out run the rino just have to out run your closes neighbor

[syndrome]

A couple of years ago as we rode the tram from our car to the front of Epcot the CM said "you are now on the fastest ride in Epcot!"--of course someone said "what about TT?"--to which he replied "well since it is always breaking down we did the math and our speed averages out to be faster!"
That is a very true and funny statement.

[Rhetoric2000]

TOT - Occasionally you will get a CM who gives you the intructions to enter and then turns back in mock panic at the end to say "Oh, one more thing..." just before the doors shut.

Jungle Cruise - "Here at the Cruise we have many thousands of different species of plant. I'd just like to take a moment to point out some of my favourites......that one.......that one......"

Jungle Cruise - "If you enjoyed your voyage with us today then remember my name is Matt and this is the Jungle Cruise. If you didn't enjoy it remember my name is Jose and this is the Hall of Presidents."

Muppets - *hums theme tune to Disney Channel* before launching into "Hello. How are you. Welcome to my park"

Muppets - "It's a glorious three hour finale".

Indy - "Working with explosives. Is dangerous"