Cranky kid

[motherof4]

My 10 yr old daughter takes massive tantrums over everything, especially when she doesn't get what she wants. She is so embarrassing, she even takes tantrums in public! My other kids are also embarrassed by her actions, recently, she took a tantrum in public over a piece of gum. I have tried everything imaginable, but nothing works, she just becomes madder. We are planning on taking a trip and we are afraid that she will embarrass us again. She has just started doing this.my other kids have not taken tantrums to this extent. Any advice??
Thank you,
motherof4

[offwego]

You mentioned she just started this. Have you taken her to a doctor? Perhaps it's a medical issue and not a behavour one. (things like blood sugar imbalances can influlence behaviour and so can other issues)

[DestinationWDW]

My son had the same type of issue, because we have not experienced this with our other children we had him examined and also spoke with his teachers. It turned out that he has ADHD. We also noticed that it got worse when he was over stimulated. On one of our trips to DW it had gotten so bad that we actually gave him Benadryl to calm him down.

Now if it’s not a medical issue the best thing to do is to ignore her. She could be acting out for more attention, does she receive that same amount as your other kids. I know my littlest one get very jealous when others play sports.

Good luck, but remember don't give-in it will only make it worse.

[Mfarquar]

I don't know if this works for everyone, but I remember throwing a tantrum when I was a little girl, and my mom simply walked away out of the store. I think it ended up embarrassing me, and I never threw one again (for the most part )!

Might be worth a try, if it's something you haven't yet...

Good luck and I hope everyone enjoys their vacation!

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

I know she's young but could she be starting puberty? It might be something to talk to a doctor about.

[crazypoohbear]

ask her why she does it. Do this when she and you are calm, the other children are not around and try to talk with her calmly about it.
My youngest would sometimes have "fits" and I would talk with him about it much later and he told me something that really opened my eyes. he said when he was in the middle of it he knew he shouldn't be doing it but "didn't know how to stop". I told him that when he feels that way he should walk away from whatever was making him feel like he was losing it. Sometimes it worked and some times it didn't.
Also, IF she is doing this to embarrass you and get what she wants DO NOT give in. When my kids were little they tried to embarrass me in public to get their way. I turned around an embarrassed them more. They tended to stop much quicker when I would say "you want to see what embarrassment is??"
You do need to talk with a doctor about this though it could be several things and 10 year olds do hit puberty, blood sugar, headaches, panic attacks, all kind of things could be the cause. Good luck

[Marker]

Handling tantrums -

I recall once when one of my children decided to throw a tantrum in store. I did the exact same thing. They looked at me like I was nuts, and they were embarrased..... they never did that again.

In the car once, on the way to somewhere fun, one of the kids decided a hissy fit was in order. Without saying a word, I pulled off the highway at the next exit, got back on the highway heading towards home. The kids were all very disappointed, as was I, that our plans had changed. But they knew why, and we rarely had that problem again.

When tantrums don't work, when they do not get the desired results, they tend to stop. But let a tantrum succeed, just one time, and they'll keep trying.

[crazypoohbear]

When tantrums don't work, when they do not get the desired results, they tend to stop. But let a tantrum succeed, just one time, and they'll keep trying.

And if you give in to tantrums you get traded from the red sox to the Dodgers.... Just ask Manny his temper tantrums always paid off for him.

[Disney Doll]

Handling tantrums -

In the car once, on the way to somewhere fun, one of the kids decided a hissy fit was in order. Without saying a word, I pulled off the highway at the next exit, got back on the highway heading towards home. The kids were all very disappointed, as was I, that our plans had changed. But they knew why, and we rarely had that problem again.

When tantrums don't work, when they do not get the desired results, they tend to stop. But let a tantrum succeed, just one time, and they'll keep trying.

Good advice! I have done the same and it works for me. I never make a threat I don't intend to keep so when I say you better straighten up or we'll go home the kids know I'm not joking. I was actually on my way out of EPCOT once with a tantrum kid when she quickly decided to regain her composure. I would have hated to leave EPCOT, but I would have and she knew it.

[LauraleeH]

The most important thing is to NEVER give up on her. My cousin started her "tantrums" when she was just 3 and she's now 13 and finally got over them (After 10 years). It could take years of patience and love, but it's worth the wait.

[tinkerbellybutton]

In the car once, on the way to somewhere fun, one of the kids decided a hissy fit was in order. Without saying a word, I pulled off the highway at the next exit, got back on the highway heading towards home. The kids were all very disappointed, as was I, that our plans had changed. But they knew why, and we rarely had that problem again.

When tantrums don't work, when they do not get the desired results, they tend to stop. But let a tantrum succeed, just one time, and they'll keep trying.

I actually have also turned around and gone home, it does work. I would talk to her Dr. My son has Asperger's but rarely throws fits (that would draw attention to him and he'd rather go un-noticed ). One day in Wal-Mart he was screaming like a banshee and freaking out, even laying on the floor kicking because I wouldn't get him what he wanted. it turns out he also has sensory integration disfunction (sp?) The stimuli in the store, lights, people talking, beeping registers, etc. overloaded his senses. That day I left a full cart and left the store with him. After he calmed down I talked to him about it and to his dr. He didn't even want the thing he was bugging for, it was just a way to distract himself from how he felt overwhelmed.There could be a hundred reasons for it and she may not even know what it is. Just don't give in and don't give up.

[cinderellabelle]

LOL motherof4 (she is my mom)

[Here we go again...]

LOL motherof4 (she is my mom)

Are you the trouble maker?

[crazypoohbear]

Are you the trouble maker?

Must be.
No response.
Must be grounded

[Mickey378]

Handling tantrums -

I recall once when one of my children decided to throw a tantrum in store. I did the exact same thing. They looked at me like I was nuts, and they were embarrased..... they never did that again.

In the car once, on the way to somewhere fun, one of the kids decided a hissy fit was in order. Without saying a word, I pulled off the highway at the next exit, got back on the highway heading towards home. The kids were all very disappointed, as was I, that our plans had changed. But they knew why, and we rarely had that problem again.

When tantrums don't work, when they do not get the desired results, they tend to stop. But let a tantrum succeed, just one time, and they'll keep trying.

I think this is the best way to handle it....if it's not a medical condition. Follow through with everything. I can understand being embarassed, but who cares what other people think. Most of the time you'll never see the people around you again.