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I'm not anti-social by any means, but I do think it's rude to invite yourself to sit at someone else's table. I would never do that and I would feel a bit weird if someone else did that to me. However, I also think it's rude to sit at a large table if you are only a small party. We've never run into this situation because we always have at least 4 people. I don't mind sharing at Beirgarten because it is expected and everyone knows going in that shared tables are the norm.
Michelle
Where there is kindness there is goodness, and where there is goodness there is magic.
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Originally Posted by Marker
I wonder, do the people who don't want to share a table also resist sharing a seat on a bus? Or sitting beside someone in a show?
I know this is offtopic but the seats on the buses really get next to me more than the table issue. It irks me to see a small kid or the elderly have to stand up on a crowded bus. We never hesitated for one moment to give up at least one of our seats to accomodate someone else, especially a child or the elderly! There we times when DDs shared a seat while DH and I stood up to accomodate someone else. A little kindness goes a long way!
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I don't like to eat with strangers because I have M.S., and sometimes drop stuff, and DH has to cut my food alot. It's embarrassing, but we're not at all anti-social. We'll talk to anyone, anywhere, about anything, but not with food falling out of our mouths.
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Originally Posted by Marker
I guess I'm a bit surprised that this is as big and issue as it apparently is. I guess the interpretation of rudeness has wide variations. Even if I didn't what someone to join us, I wouldn't think it rude for someone to ask. What are they really hurting. And I certainly wouldn't get hostile with them about it.
This is just my opinion so don't take my head off, but I'd find it much more rude to be holding onto unused seats in a crowded dining room that to ask if someone minded if I sit down. I guess for me, it's not just about ME and what I WANT. We're not in this world alone, and a little kindness towards others is not really a bad thing.
I mean, it's not like they're going to sit in my lap. And it doesn't mean we have to strike up a conversation (although I probably would). They're just sitting beside me. They can have their own conversation and we can continue with ours.
I wonder, do the people who don't want to share a table also resist sharing a seat on a bus? Or sitting beside someone in a show?
Maybe it's a cultural difference, and varies depending on where you're from. If that's the case, I pretty ok with having a friendly midwestern point of view.
But that's all just my opinion. We all have different points of view, and it seems that mine is definitely in the minority. But nonetheless, is my view and I'm sticking to it.
I totally agree with you. I also posted earlier but have seen this thread get longer and longer and the comments with more and more people agreeing that it's rude to ask someone to share their table. I really can't believe that so many people are really that upset by this, especially at Disney. I have never really even given it a thought. My DH is very shy and reserved but still not nearly impolite enough to not offer a seat or say yes if someone asked if they could share a table with us. I wouldn't expect this at a TS establishment but would at a CS, especially at busy times. People need to open up more and be agreeable to meeting new people, you never know what will happen.
Sarah
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Its a cultural thing.
Different regions in the U.S. have different ways. Outside the U.S., in some countries sharing tables without asking is the culture. Visitors from around the country and around the world may bring their customs and not even realize they are being offensive.
Part of the Disney experience is this sharing with people from around the world. So, the next time someone offends you, go with the flow and make it magical.
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Never experienced this, and my initial reaction was I wouldn't much care for this "invasion." However, after I thought about it, it could be fun and an opportunity to meet some other people. If you really did want to spend some time "alone," I'm sure people would understand (too bad if they don't).
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I've never had anyone ask to sit at our table with us when we are two, my DH and I, nor would I ever think to ask to sit with someone we didn't know. Usually there are four or more of us (all adults) on a WDW vacation, so having extra places isn't an issue bc we don't sit at tables larger than we need. If someone was to ask to sit at a table with us, I would say no. Meals are down time for us. I don't care when people ask to borrow chairs bc we've done that.
"Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you. But always dress for the hunt!" Kungaloosh!
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This is a really good topic. I've really had to think about my response to this one. I don't think people should invite themselves to sit at a table occupied by another family. My reasoning is, a meal time is a time to talk about the day and plan for what may be coming up. My dh recently switched to an afternoon shift and I really miss our family meal time together. I am looking forward to our next vacation to have that time with just the family. I may be anti-social, but to an extent I'm ok with that.
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Originally Posted by Minnie4me
Hi All,
We said no because we really don't want to lie or be rude, but personally I would never ask to sit at someone else's table.
<snip>
Even though Disney is crowded, when I eat, I like my space.
Does anyone else feel the same...or differ??
I'm with you, I would NEVER ask to share someone's table, and I don't particularly like it when others intrude on mine. This the one little piece of space in WDW that is all mine, if only for a brief time. If there are no tables available, you venture out and find a place to sit/lean and eat...it's not that difficult.
I'm not a big fan of being "entertained" while i eat either (i.e. Whispering Canyon...if you call being screamed at by a manic CM entertainment...), but that's a whole different subject
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Originally Posted by TBY2225
I can see where you are coming from, but because I had a very good experience on a cruise ship sharing a table I feel a little different. I was very worried about sharing a table and tried to request a private one with no luck. I usually keep to myself too! The couple we ended up with at our table we found to have alot in common with. We ended up after that first meal spending the rest of our vacation together and now we are great friends! You never know who you will meet! Yes, you might not get as lucky as we did! But, you never know! Hopefully they are in Disney for the same reason you are and you might just hit it off!
I was so nervous about sitting with strangers too! As it turned out, we had a great experience and did lots of things outside of dinner with our table mates. We still keep in touch via e-mail and Christmas cards and that was 5 years ago!
Originally Posted by Lynn J Mc
I never table-crash but always welcome people who do to sit down. I have met some interesting people this way. And in other places besides DW. We were visiting Charleston SC when there was a large table in a small restaurant open but there was no party of 6. So one guy in line got us and another party of two together and we made our own party of 6. Instant seating! We had a great time getting to know the others.
I guess that's why we were voted "the most polite city."
My intial thoughts when I first read the post were..."even the tables at Cracker Barrel are too close for my comfort!" But then I got to thinking about all the neat people we have met in close quarters at Disney--restaurants, the bus, the swimming pool, long lines for rides, etc... It just seems like such a friendly and safe place that the whole not talking to strangers sort of goes out the window. Some of the tables at Le Cellier are really close, and we have met friendly people there. The best time that we have met people is about one hour before Illuminations in the patio area at the Rose and Crown. People get really close there, and usually most of the seats are taken. I don't think we've ever shared a table, but we give available seats away when we can. However, when we're all waiting an hour in close quarters, you get to know people. I have had some great conversations there. As for the table crashing, I personally would never do it. I think that is kind of rude, but I suppose if someone came up to me and asked, I wouldn't turn them away. A kind deed goes a long way!
Tara °O°
AP holder since '03 and DVC owner since '08
Next Up:
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I think sharing is a great way of expanding one's universe, but I can see how one fight feel their privacy had been invaded.
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i am a shy and private person so my interior knee jerk reaction would be "no, are you crazy?"
but the right and gracious thing is to give up the seats. as a bashful person i always expect the worst from stranger interactions, but it always goes just fine. people at wdw rarely ever bite.
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Hmm...although I would prefer a table all to myself and my family...I often am at Disney with just my DD8.
If a counter service place is swamped, I have asked people politely if they minded if we had a seat. It is just too difficult to manage for long carrying the backpack, the food tray and whatever else. I also have been asked by others if they could sit at our table. And, of course, they may.
I guess it depends on the crowd level...just like at the movies...if most every seat is filled, well, people will have to sit right next to you. On the other hand, if the place is empty, it would be completely inappropriate for someone to sit right next to you - not to mention downright creepy!
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I know someone up above posted this. I am really shocked at the number of responses that this topic has had. Never in a million years would I have imagined such an issue that so many people felt so strongly about. WOW.
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Here's another take on this subject. We've been at the CS restaurants and have actually asked people if they would like to join us, especially if there is no place for them to sit. Often times we are just 2 and have a table for 4 (that was all that was available when we sat down). If there was another couple and on quite a few occasions, someone doing Disney solo, and the place was crowded, then we've extended an invitation.
It's basically a Random Act of Kindness - and God knows this world needs as much of it as possible.
After all, what better place to extend a little magic of your own...
Let the magic begin.....!!!
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I don't have a problem sharing a table on two conditions - a) the person/people ask if it's OK and b) there are no other tables/seats available.
I can't honestly say I've ever offered table space to anyone at WDW, although I think I will be a little more aware in the future. You can sometimes tell the look of desperation in people's faces when they've been walking the parks all day, finally take a break for something to eat then can't find anywhere to sit. I'm sure I've had that look as well.
I don't think it's acceptable to just plop down at an occupied table without asking first. On the flip side, I don't think it's acceptable to say no if someone asks if they can sit at that table.
The only time I would not care for someone to sit with me would be when there are plenty of other seating choices. I would also certainly expect anyone sharing a table with me or my party to show respect - use manners, no yelling or arguing, etc.
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One of things I really enjoy is talking to people from all over america and the world at WDW. I remember a lunch at the Tepenyaki in Epcot and was really disappointed because nobody wanted to talk, even though we all sit a giant table together. I felt like I was at a yuppie country club and I was Happy Gilmore. Then again, I'm a medical sales rep and I love the job because I get to talk to new people all the time. Some people just don't want to get to know anyone else. I call it Nintendo America.
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Try to remember you don't know everyone's situation. I had an uncle whose extreme shyness turned into major social anxiety issues as he got older. He couldn't even do teacher conferences b/c he'd start to shake from nervousness. It was hard enough for him to do things out of his element, but as long as he was with people he knew well or family, he was fine. If a stranger were to sit down at his families table, he would have completely shut down - there would be no getting him to talk after that. So remember, there are people with varying degrees of shyness or social anxiety. Having a stranger sit down at their table might send them into a tizzy of nervousness. In addition, what about some families with hidden disabilities? What if someone is self-concious about a speech or hearing problem, perhaps they have a child who is autistic and doesn't handle strange people well? There may be many legitimate reasons why someone doesn't want you sitting at their table, and even if they say yes when they don't want to (often because they're timid), they may hate every minute of it. Sharing may be ideal, but it just doesn't work for everyone. The fact is, if they are there first, it is their table to do with as they wish. If you don't like it when you can't find a table, you should plan around that or expect to wait.
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