ChipDale's (Jane's) prowess as a gourmet cook has become an integral part of Intercot lore over the past few months.

In the spirit of Intercot helpfulness, I'd like everyone to contribute their own little tips and suggestions for helping her advance in her culinary endeavors.

Here are a few I've gathered:

<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Anything that makes you gag is spoiled, except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night.

<LI>When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, an egg is probably past its prime.

<LI>Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.

<LI>If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, mayonnaise is spoiled.

<LI>Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled-- or wrecked, anyway-- by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

<LI>If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

<LI>Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet.

<LI>Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a basketball should be disposed of. Carefully.

<LI>A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

<LI>Wine should not taste like salad dressing.

<LI>Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

<LI>If you can take chip dip out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.[/list]

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:

Most food cannot be kept longer than the average lifespan of a hamster.

Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.



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Ed, aka TiggTigg5
[email protected]
Intercot Staff Imagineer

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying !