Ok, I need some advice.

We want to get a dog in the near future. Our older DS has autism, and he loves dogs, but he is very particular about what kind of dogs he likes. He does not like high energy dogs, small dogs, or dogs that are "in your face" all the time. He seems to gravitate towards the retrievers (Goldens and Labs). He is 7 years old.

Our other son is 5, and he likes all animals. However, he has a hard time following rules sometimes due to auditory/speech issues, and he is openly defiant a lot. It will be a challenge to teach him the right way to behave around a dog (basic stuff, such as "leave the dog alone while its eating, sleeping, etc.). He is the kind of kid that always wants to be petting animals. He is very gentle in that regard.

I have narrowed our breed choice down to a Labrador. I don't want a long haired dog (had a couple of those when I was younger...did not like the high maintenance). Ideally, I'd like a calm dog that can just roll with the (sometimes) chaotic nature of our house. Our kids have issues, and they have meltdowns a lot, are loud and rambunctious as little boys are, but they are good kids and I think we could ALL benefit from having a dog in the house. I am fully ready to be 100% responsible for this dog, I do not expect my kids to do much more than help feed and bathe it (which the older one is dying to do). I want them to have a companion, and I think our older son will benefit emotionally from having a dog.

Now, the question at hand: Get a puppy from a breeder (there are LOTS of reputable ones around here) or find a rescue Lab from an organization (there are several of these local as well)? Which is the best option for us?

I have looked into both options. On the one hand, getting a rescue dog means you know what you are getting, and I like that. However, most organizations have a very small number of dogs who they will place in households with kids under the age of 8. Not always knowing the dog's history means you never know how they were raised to deal with a household full of children. Our options might be limited or nonexistent here, given the ages of our kids. Plus, I know these dogs often had traumatic past lives, and I am not sure that bringing a dog like that into a household like ours would be fair to the dog.

On the other hand, I've read more than a few books/articles about getting a puppy with small kids in the house. The overwhelming majority of them recommend that all kids be aged 7 and up before bringing in a puppy, due to puppies nipping a lot and needing constant supervision. And, the issue of having young kids who leave small toys lying around the house is bad for puppies who like to eat everything in sight (and this is our kids...there are constantly legos, hot wheels, action figures, etc. all around the house). Plus, there is the extra work a puppy brings (on my part) and the uncertainty of what type of dog the puppy will turn out to be.

So, what say you Intercot dog experts? We are looking to do this sometime in the next 6months, probably after the new year. I have time to think about it and make the best decision for our family, but I need some advice.