Pixie Dust needed for Mom

[TinkerbellT421]

Ok, let me first start by saying, this is my first time asking for pixie dust and prayers, but after seeing everyone here show their support for each other and others saying how pixie dust has helped them, I realized I really could use some pixie dust.

To make a very long story as short and readable as possible. My DM is 75 years old. Not in the best of health but not in the worst either. Well after a very tough and frustrating year with her current "Primary care" (I use this term very loosely as he and his office are not very "caring" of their patients and thinking of filing a complain, but thats a whole other story). I was able to find her a new primary care in which she had her first appointment last night. Well, half the battle is that she absolutely LOVES this doctor and ALL of his staff (and let me tell you that is not a very easy feat with my mom! lol!) Well, they were incredibly thorough. So thorough in fact that DM has about five tests she has to go through. Three in which are scheduled all for Friday. I am so scared. I wouldn't dare tell her this, or show it, because I just want to be strong for her. But I cannot tell you how much I have been crying all day on and off. The tests range from Echocardiograms to Cardiograms to X-Rays. All of which she has needed for a very long time, but due to my mom's persistent stubborness she has canceled every one of them in the past. Well now through persistence on my end I have basically told her that she has no choice but to do them and is not allowed to cancel them. She did not like those "orders" too much especially coming from her daughter lol! She is THE mom after all lol. BUT I am so so scared. Just knowing that she has needed these tests for so long and that now she is doing them, what will they find? I know I am jumping the gun and making assumptions and being nervous about something that has even happened yet. But I just can't help think of the stories I have heard from people where they found things too late, etc. I just can't help but pray and hope that everything will be okay, that if anything is found that it is treatable, etc. The doctors yesterday had some murmurings of her having some blockage on one side of her body (which she had surgery for the other side, same blockage, years ago), Her high blood pressure is extremely high and also there being an elevated level or protein in her urine, along with a murmur they could hear in one of the "Vasculars" in her heart. I just cant help having this overwhelming sickening feeling in my stomach. It's one of those situations where I am scared to death of what they might find and what they MIGHT say, am I wrong in feeling this way? I feel so powerless, so helpless so out of control. I just need to stop crying. But I feel so stressed I feel like I have a 1000 lb weight on my chest.

But in the mean time while I sit and wait, if I could please ask for some prayers and pixie dust to help my mom and I through this. I guess I just want some hope

[clausjo]

I know its hard, but try not to think of what they might find. Hang in there! Take comfort in that she's found a new doctor that everyone likes and is happy with.

Best of luck to you and your mom - here's your pixie dust!!!

[Dulcee]

Prevention is key. Instead of thinking of this as an uncontrolled situation where you are just waiting for an outcome, think of it as a you and your mom now being in control of her health. Pinpointing a potential problem before it grows is always, always better. And that's worse case thinking! Lots of pixie dust your way that everything comes back clean

[deedeebee]

We went through something like this with my Dad, in June we stayed at the Poly to celebrate his 80th B-day. I was very worried about tests, he did have to have some work done, but he is better than ever! My Dad was around the same age, my husband kept telling me to stop worrying until I had something to worry about, HE WAS RIGHT!! You could have knocked me over with a feather Anyway, hold on, you will have answers soon. I know it's hard

[Disney4us2]

I know its hard, but try not to think of what they might find. Hang in there! Take comfort in that she's found a new doctor that everyone likes and is happy with.

Best of luck to you and your mom - here's your pixie dust!!!

I have been in your shoes (still am) with my 91 year old father. In 1994 he had a 5 way heart bypass. Has had several angiograms/angioplasty's, had cancer of the bladder. He has been through it all. I call him the enegerizer bunny... he just keeps going and going.

Sometimes the roles do reverse and the child becomes the parent.... so to speak. Like Jodi said, don't worry about what they might find. Take it one day at a time. I would think if was anything urgent, they would not make her wait until friday... that is just my thinking though. Hoping for the best of outcomes for you mom.

[TinkerbellT421]

Thank you all so much for your kid words. They certainly have helped thus far keeping my thoughts in perspective, especially hearing from those of you that can certainly understand how I am feeling.
Clausjo I am beyond thrilled that she is happy with this doctor and his staff, and I must say, I am quite the pain in the behind and it takes a lot to "impress" me for lack of a better term, but they were so thorough that all I could do was sit there in awe because I could not believe all the things they did while we were there that I have never seen any of her other doctors do since I have been going with her to them. We were there for two hours! When was the last time anyone has seen a doctor for two hours? My experience has always been get in/get out! lol
My DBF keeps telling me the same thing deedeebee!
Disney4us, I will be thinking of you and your father and your family and sending my pixie dust to you
Dulcee, thank you very much for that perspective, I guess being so nervous about what could go wrong I didn't stop to think about what this could prevent. Thank you

[TinkerbellT421]

Please keep the prayers and pixie dust coming.

Mom had her followup this afternoon for her urinalysis and blood work and in the urine they found "Atypical" cells. They made her take another sample today to send out again for a second look. They use the word Atypical cells and then follow it with the words "is usually an indicator of cancer" and it make your stomach turn and your heart sink So a few more days for those results to come back and will also be receiving her results of her Echocardiogram and her Carotid test. Ugh Im so worried

[ElenitaB]

I do understand your worry but it is so much better to have caught a condition before it advances than to not have caught it at all. And as easy as it is to dispense advice, remember that it's better to come to a challenge from a place of hope and faith rather than a place of worry.

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles;
it empties today of its strength."

— Mary Engelbriet

to you and your mom.

[Janmac]

It's difficult not to worry. Four or five years ago DH called me from what we thought was a routine stress test ('cause he was over 70 and had never had one; he got several sorts of tests for that reason) saying he was going, that afternoon, over to a cardiologist because there was an anomaly in the test.

That sort of thing sure gets the adrenaline pumping. Turns out, he is just rife with anomalies. The cardiologist did another type of stress test and DH just has a weird heart.

After that we had some odd shadow on a chest x-ray so off to the pulmonologist who decided, because of rickets as a kid, he had a weird shaped sternum.

But sometmes, the test results are different. My mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, which had a pretty low cure percentage. And she was not a very good patient. Refused even to finish the chemo, doing only 4 of the 6 rounds. Apparently that was enough because she became one of the few survivors at that clinic. It was hard to keep in mind at the time, that it was ultimately my mother's life, and her decision.

I so agree with the quote in Elenita's post. It's difficult to be able to worry less and be a caregiver more - especially to moms - but for your health, the more you can practice patience, acceptance, and simply being there for your mom, the better for your health.

Most of the time I try to focus on having the best today we can have, and making good memories, regardless of what the future looks like. Luckily my sister is available to help share worries. I hope you have someone you can share with too.

Jan

[Dopey's Girl]

Hang in there! My family has been dealing with some health issues with my grampa, it's not easy...lots of pixie dust for you!

[disney obsessed]

I am also going through health testing and issues with my mom. It is hard to be in this position. But then I remember how well she took care of me for so long and it gives me the strength to make the next step. Some results have been good, some have not. She does not like the tests or the drs or the meds. It is a struggle to get her to take the meds. She does not feel sick so why take the meds............

So, I understand. I am grateful that I can be with her and share the times that are good. I get overwhelmed. I wish I did not have to do it everyday. But we do. And thank God we are there for them. And thank god for them.

[TinkerbellT421]

Thank you all for your advice. Everyone of you offer your help to me in this hard time in your own ways and I appreciate everyone of you. Sometimes I wish I had more support and more people to help, but thats a whole other story

But thank you all for your support and advice it really is much appreciated. And good luck to you as well disney obsessed and Jan.

[Hull-onian]

Prayers and good thoughts being sent your way....

[TinkerbellT421]

I have no idea what to do.

What we thought was a "good office and good staff" at first went down hill quickly!!!

During our second visit the "follow up" on friday for her Urine testing she did on that Monday.

Well thats when they told my mother she had "Atypical cells" which "could" mean cancer. That she had to have the culture done again because there weren't enough cells to do proper testing on.

Well lets rewind, when mom first sits in chair the assistant takes her blood pressure. My mother is always on the high range on blood pressure....extremely high. Well the girl takes her blood pressure (putting the pressure band thing OVER two sweaters, I thought that was odd). Well she takes the blood pressure and says its 124/60...that strikes me as strange as my mother four days prior to this was 190/80....huge difference...Well the "PA" comes in the office and I mention it to her. She retakes the blood pressure and finds that yes the blood pressure is 180/90 and uses the terms "Yes she was full of poop-but insert swear word here" Which struck me as EXTREMELY unprofessional. Well, my mother like I said before is 75 years old, not in the best of health, no offense to this girl being a PA. But she is NOT a doctor! So I said to her "When will my mother actually meet the doctor" and the PA looks at us and says "Probably never". So now my blood is boiling. Okay, I let it go. Well she seems very confused throughout the whole appointment, more concerned about her "date" that she had later that night. Now keeping in mind, yes she did go to school but she is not even 25 yet! How can I feel hopeful or faith in her to do whats best for my mother??? Is it me? Well my biggest concern is validated in the next sentence. During that Monday appointment she had provided my mother a prescription for a new "High blood pressure" medication. It was a "beta blocker" well my mother knows she cannot take beta blockers because of other ailments she has, she didn't say anything first and decided to research it first. So she brought it home, researched it and sure enough shouldn't be taking it. Mom speaks to her nephew who is a head pharmacist in Hawaii and he also confirms that no she should not be taking it. So my mother calls the office to voice this concern with the PA and see if there is an alternative. Well the girl who answers the phone, refuses, yes I said it, down right REFUSED to take a message to give to the PA and told my mother "She is much too busy to talk to patients" so the girl asked my mother what it was regarding, so my mother explains to her, well the girl tells my mother, "Oh talk to your pharmacist they can answer your questions"...Im sorry EXCUSE ME!?!?!??! Well three days later (Thursday before this Friday foolowup) Rebecca calls my mother, hence, after my mother has just filled said prescription, and says with urgency for my mother NOT to fill the medication and to not take it. This is three days later!!! What happens if my mother got it filled the day it was given to her and she took it for two days? The PA explained to my mother that the "Doctor" reviewed the file and prescriptions and told the PA that my mother should not be on that medicine!!!!!!! Is it me? Am I getting upset at this for no reason??

Sorry to jump around but I just need to vent, I have no idea what to do.

So fast track back to Friday's follow up. So she scares my mother and I about the "Atypical" cells/cancer comment. So my mother gives another sample before leaving. They say call Monday to see if they got the results yet. So my mother is depressed, Im a nervous wreck all weekend. Monday rolls around, we call three times, once in the am once in the afternoon and then once more prior to the closing in the evening. All three times the office is rude and ignorant like your bothering them, keep you on hold for twenty minutes, each time calling and then will come back to the phone and say "What did you want again?" with a bothersome tone. Well each time after this run around they tell us, "No results are not in yet". Well I asked if there could be a note placed for them to call us as soon as the results come in the girl says "No theres no way to do that" Im like you dont have post it notes in your office? How can you NOT be able to leave a note or a message!??! Whatever. So Tuesday rolls around, I decide I dont want to get bad news, if any, while at work so I will wait to get home and call then. So 4:30 rolls around, I get home they close at 5. I call, they closed early for the day. Fine, I call this morning at work figuring tomorrow being Thanksgiving they might close early again so I wont chance it. So I call from work at 8am. The girl was more pleasant out of any I talked to on Monday and I explained who I was and what I was looking for. Ten minutes later my cell phone rings, its the PA. She asks who I am, and what I was calling about, she could not remember me, my mother or what I was talking about until I went into details and then she finally remembered, said she would review the file and call me back. Well five minutes later my phone rings again, its her.....I answer the phone "Hello?" I get "You are going to be so mad at me"....Me: "Excuse me? What does that mean?"....she proceeds to say: "We never sent the test"...Me: "WHAT!?!?!" Her: "We must have thrown out the sample"......"WHAT!?!?!?!?!"

I lost it, I completely lost my mind. My blood instantly boiled. How does a doctor's office do that!?!?!?!?!? Is it me? Am I over reacting?

Now she says that we can go back on Friday and leave another sample. Why so they can "loose" it again? Maybe if you weren't so concerned about your "date" that night then you would have done you job! How can I be confident in the "Doctors" office? I mean at this point its not just one thing, its all of these negative experiences piled together.

So I found another Doctor locally and picked up the new patient paperwork and filled it out tonight so I can drop it off monday or tuesday. But is that the right thing? I cant stop crying, I cant stop being upset. I just feel like I have been completely crushed. And not to mention we are STILL waiting on results from them for an xray, echocardiogram, carotid test, blood work and ultra sound.

[IloveDisney71]

I think you are totally justified to be upset with the way that office is run and the way you have been treated. When a doctor's office is too busy to take messages and give you calls about test results they do not have their patients best interests at heart. I think some doctors have become $$$ makers. I would definitely try to find another doctor for your mom. One that you and your mom feel comfortable with. One that treats her respectfully! I hope that this new doctor can find out what is wrong with your mom and that it is nothing serious.

[azdisneymom]

Follow your insticts. If they are telling you to get another doctor - do it. I had a doctor who wouldn't listen to me. Even patted my hand and ever so politely told me all the symptoms I had were in my head. I left and got a second opinion - turned out to be cancer. Very treatable but still cancer.

If you are frustrated go elsewhere. It is your mom's health, your peace of mind and your money. Don't give it a second thought.

[ElenitaB]

Definitely go to another doctor! But before you leave, put everything you have written here in a letter to the doctor whose office it is, with a copy to your mom's insurance company. They need to know!

[Janmac]

Definitely go to another doctor! But before you leave, put everything you have written here in a letter to the doctor whose office it is, with a copy to your mom's insurance company. They need to know!

Absolutely make as complete a record as you can of your visits, as well as sending it to the doctor - not the PA - and your mom's insurance company, you might also look up whatever regulatory agency there is for PAs and send a copy to them, too.

You are doing exactly right!

Jan

[TinkerbellT421]

Thank you for the responses. I feel better knowing I am not over-reacting to the situation. I was starting to wonder if it was just me. Looks like I have a lot of work to do this week. I will be researching how to contact these people. Ugh so stressful!

[TinkerbellT421]

Quick update. Moms new doctors appointment is for this Saturday.
Still waiting on results from the tests she had taken done with the other office. FIrst Im told that the results will take two, then it was three weeks now its six weeks!
We went to one last followup with them two weekends ago, they needed to redo the blood work because of protein levels. And we ended up redoing the urine test while we were there, that allegedly comes back in two-three days and in which two weeks later still haven't heard anything. Once I have the results back from all the tests she took I will be making reports to everyone in this state that is needed, complaints and all. Just do not want to do anything until I have completed the transition to the new doctor with medical records and all as fair of retaliation because from what I have seen that office is down right full of rude ignorant people. I am still miffed by my experience there. And when I googled the reviews for this office I was even more astounded and couldn't believe I hadn't googled them sooner. Lesson learned.