Meddling family venting

[andreallybadeggs]

Need to vent, and will happily entertain any comments or suggestions.
--My Bro and SIL are wonderful, hardworking, simple folk who love Disney.
--They have been able to take one set of grandchildren to WDW but since 2 more (another son's kids) have been born they have eagerly anticipated taking them. Their DIL's family gets to spend much more time with the grandkids but it always SEEMED to be accepted that Bro and SIL would be able to take them on their first WDW trip since it has been such a priority and they really don't ask for much. They've offered several times since the older child, a Disney princess lover for sure, turned 3 but parents said wait until the younger one turned 3. (The older is now 6)
--Younger one turned 3 this Spring so Bro and Sis were hoping for WDW this summer but SIL's family planned a beach vacation. They opted for that offer and are apparently not willing to cut into that time at all or take one or two extra vacation days to extend their trip for a condensed trip to Orlando (they will already be in the Fla panhandle) And this even tho my Bro and SIL could get a cast discount at AKL and have been saving for a brief but wonderful introduction to Disney for their grandkids. (and the AKL was where their DIL has always said she would like to stay)
--The long weekend idea came about because their DIL called my SIL recently and said, "I know you've always wanted to take us to Disney. Can't go this summer because of my family's beach vacation (not a rarity) and thought I should let you know that now my family is planning a Disney vacation for next summer so if you want to be the first to take the kids it has to be right after Christmas."
--Bro and SIL asked them to please find another week because that time is so expensive and crowded or to consider cutting a day from their beach time and adding a long weekend so they said their schedule is just too busy and inflexible.
GRRRR. I sugeested they might consider a) right before Christmas -- still very expensive but not quite as crowded or b) the first week in Jan since the kids are so young and if the 6 yr old missed 3 days from her (private) school it would not be the end of the world. SIL mentioned those options to them but they have not responded.
I've been tempted to call my nephew and encourage him to reconsider all this since it is so important to his parents but doubt I will since that would likely just create hard feelings but GRRRRRR , really GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[buzznwoodysmom]

That is so sad that the grandparents want so badly to do this for their grandchildren, but the parents of the children seem to be almost avoiding it. All they can do is keep trying and if it just won't work tell them to take the other set of grandkids for another trip. When SIL complains that the other set got two trips to WDW while her kids didn't get their turn the grandparents can at least say they tried. I think its time for their son to take a stand and tell his wife that his parents deserve this special time with their grandkids too. Sounds like most family vacations are taken with SIL's side of the family. I hope it all works out for everyone.

[catkrazy]

See this is where I would play dirty. I would send a big basket of Disney themed presents to the kids with a note that Grammie & Grampy would like to take them to Disney when they come to Florida this summer. Then it's on the parents to not disappoint their very excited kids and let them go!
This is just what my sinister self would try may not be something they would ever really do.

[SBETigg]

It's all very confusing to me as to who is supposed to be taking whom and why. It doesn't seem like this involves you or should be your business to cut in? Are you the meddling family mentioned? I think I have read this all wrong. But if it involves your brother, sister and law, and their children, it's really not your place to get involved, it seems. As hard as it is to step back and not want to defend what you believe to be right.

Also, grandparents are wonderful, but if the parents really want to be the ones to take their kids to WDW first (again, I could be misreading) then it is really not the grandparents' place to insist this honor belongs to them, or to even suggest the parents change their vacation plans to include them. If none of this makes sense, I probably read wrong and please disregard. If it does, maybe it would help to just step back and try to see everything from other points of view. Best wishes with it.

[paulsheri]

Maybe the basket would be confiscated by the parents, and the dear grandchildren wouldn't see it, or get it !!

[NJGIRL]

My advice to you would be to stay out of it. This thing sounds to me like it is a slow boil and will sooner or later blow. It's best to let only the parties involved come up with a solution. Just my 2 cents.

[SBETigg]

Aha, I re-read and I think I get it now. I think you substituted a SIL for a DIL at one point, so it added to my confusion. Now it all makes sense. And, I totally understand your frustration. The solutions you offered for trip-timing are very reasonable and would be the perfect solution. I hope they go for that!

But, I would still stay out of it, for the most part. It is up to the children's parents to decide what is best as far as missing school time, and if your brother and SIL really want to take the kids on that first trip, they might have to just forget the expense and crowds and go when DIL is willing to let the kids go. I don't think it would hurt to talk to your nephew and try to see if the solutions you mention would be agreeable, but I would be careful about getting too involved. It sounds like it could easily become a touchy situation. But good for your brother and SIL to be such fantastic grandparents, and I hope they get the time they want with the grandkids. That would be so special for them.

[VWL Mom]

My advice to you would be to stay out of it. This thing sounds to me like it is a slow boil and will sooner or later blow. It's best to let only the parties involved come up with a solution. Just my 2 cents.

I agree, walk away! I too have a bond with my brother so I understand where you're at.

While it is very nice for bro and SIL to want to take the kids it doesn't sound like it's in the cards and they should let it go. The more they push, the worse it will be. Trying to play your nephew against his wife will probably not end up well and you may loose whatever relationship you have with them.

Their son and DIL have decided (for whatever reason) that they prefer to spend the week with her family, that's their prerogative. If they are happy doing that, why should they be questioned. It's their life and their kids, time for everyone else to back off and let them live their life as a family. Time will probably bring them around.

[spoiledraf]

At first I thought you were someone in my family. lol! I'm the papa that wanted to take the grandkids. Very similar story, with two sets of grandkids. I think the problem is setting an age limit. i kind of had the same feeling about waiting til they were older but a few events in our life suggested you don't know what tomorrow holds so we just packed up both families and took everyone, both our kids and grandkids, for there first trip. Cost a small fortune but even though the kids were 2, 3 and 5, they loved and remembered quite a bit of the trip. Both the 2 and 3 year old, now a year older, have called and said they want to go and hug Mickey in just the last week! Well it won't be this year but the plan is the Saturday before Thanksgiving next year, we all go again. I retire that Friday and thats my retirement gift to myself.

In short, Grandma and grandpa set the age limit. I think they set themselves up for disapointment. Life's to short.

[beksy]

Off topic, but I'm just envious that my grandparents never wanted to do anything like this! Their children and grandchildren are lucky to have people who want to take them in their lives. I was lucky that my parents wanted to take my sis and me and were able to since my grandparents live an hour away and still found excuses to not have us visit them! Good luck and I hope everything works out for your family!

[princessgirls]

WOW...the sense of entitlement overwhelms me.

Really...people act like this with "demands" for when the trip should be to take the kids.

So sad...

My advice is to stay out of it. Sounds like the parents are a force all on their own (not grandparents). I feel bad for the grandparents, as they want to make some memories with their grandchildren.

Julie

[AmandaChan]

Off topic, but I'm just envious that my grandparents never wanted to do anything like this! Their children and grandchildren are lucky to have people who want to take them in their lives.

for real! i second this.

[Dedivah]

That is so sad that the grandparents want so badly to do this for their grandchildren, but the parents of the children seem to be almost avoiding it. All they can do is keep trying and if it just won't work tell them to take the other set of grandkids for another trip. When SIL complains that the other set got two trips to WDW while her kids didn't get their turn the grandparents can at least say they tried. I think its time for their son to take a stand and tell his wife that his parents deserve this special time with their grandkids too. Sounds like most family vacations are taken with SIL's side of the family. I hope it all works out for everyone.

I agree with Denise. Take the other set. It is their loss!!

[Cinderelley]

I'm so glad that my kids already know I will be taking the grandkids to Disney. My DS in the Navy already wrote me a letter about how I will be taking his kids to Disney.

I am sure it is a sore spot for your DB and SIL, but I also recommend staying out of it except for being an ear to listen. They should be the ones to talk to their son. Hopefully plans will change as the year goes on or maybe your brother and sister-in-law will be invited to go on the big trip to both sets of grandparents can see the kids' reactions to DisneyWorld.