Characters Real or Not - The Right Time to Tell?

[wiltsan]

Thinking about a trip to WDW for early May with my DH and 6.5 year old DD. We have been to Disney about once a year for the past 15 and so have lots of experience but I am coming across a new one that I can use some advice on.

My DD is a darling girl and acts about her age - meaning she is not all Hanna Montanaed-out, blinged, pop-music but she is right on that edge and recently has been making comments about "you know at Disney World, Ariel (or fill in name) is not really Ariel, she is just a person dressed like Ariel. At the Ariel show at MGM/HS, she is a theater actress. That really isn't Tigger, it is just someone dressed up in a suit, Tinkerbell, King Louie etc." You get the idea.

I am struggling with what to tell her. A part of me wants to keep living the fantasy (heck, I do at 44 but she is starting to know better and I wonder if that will confuse her further. Hard to see them grow up and lose that wonder and believability but I am sure she hears all sorts of things about the characters at school etc.

I recall when DD was five and we were waiting in line for Ariel at the Grotto and we got talking to a family with a DD of 7 and the Mom said, enjoy it now because in a year, she will be over it.

Have any of you had a similar experience and how did you handle it?

[wiltsan]

Thinking about a trip to WDW for early May with my DH and 6.5 year old DD. We have been to Disney about once a year for the past 15 and so have lots of experience but I am coming across a new one that I can use some advice on.

My DD is a darling girl and acts about her age - meaning she is not all Hanna Montanaed-out, blinged, pop-music but she is right on that edge and recently has been making comments about "you know at Disney World, Ariel (or fill in name) is not really Ariel, she is just a person dressed like Ariel. At the Ariel show at MGM/HS, she is a theater actress. That really isn't Tigger, it is just someone dressed up in a suit, Tinkerbell, King Louie etc." You get the idea.

I am struggling with what to tell her. A part of me wants to keep living the fantasy (heck, I do at 44 but she is starting to know better and I wonder if that will confuse her further. Hard to see them grow up and lose that wonder and believability but I am sure she hears all sorts of things about the characters at school etc.

I recall when DD was five and we were waiting in line for Ariel at the Grotto and we got talking to a family with a DD of 7 and the Mom said, enjoy it now because in a year, she will be over it.

Have any of you had a similar experience and how did you handle it?

[ibelieveindisneymagic]

Sounds like she already "knows", so the cat is already out of the bag, so to speak.

We never had an "official discussion", but just slowly changed and started talking about the people who are good "friends of Mickey", but my statement is always "I want to believe that I'm meeting the real Mickey, then I'm meeting the real Mickey".

[Scar]

Well, since your daughter already knows what an actress and a costume are... I really don't think there's much you can do.

[sherriepaul]

My dd is 6.5 as well and for about 6 to 8 months she has been saying things that make me believe she is along the same lines as your daughter. She has never been to Walt disney world but we are going in Late August. Wondering what am I going to say then so as not to ruin it for her twin brother who hasn't been saying anything.

[wiltsan]

Sher - I think since this is your first trip to WDW, you daughter will find that she is so overwhelmed (in a good way) and caught up in all the magic that she will believe. In your case, I would just go with the flow. I appreciate the feedback of both of you. Again, I agree that the standard line should maybe be, "I believe in fairies etc" and let her make up her own mind. They just grow up to fast !

[wiltsan]

She thinks she knows.....everything, LOL! Yes, hard for me to let go of the innocence, especially since I never visited WDW until I was 8 and was in total belief. Perhaps the standard line of the family should be, "believe what you like, I believe in fairies, Belle, Stitch etc." Good problems to have

[clausjo]

Both my kids know and they still love it as much as they ever had. They're 11 and 8. My son's favorite meals are the character meals so he can hug Tigger, etc. In my experience, knowing or not doesn't make any difference at all, the magic is still there.

[momof3+twins]

Don't tell her they are real. If she thinks they are fine. If she asks tell her they aren't.
I never told my kids they were real. They figure it out on their own. My 10 year old knows they aren't. I think my 8 year old knows they aren't. But, the 5 year olds...probably think they are real. I don't make a big deal about it. We are going in June and if they think they are real great...if not, we will still have fun. Don't stress they grow up too fast (the 13 year old is too cool for them now)

[joonyer]

Think about it this way: When you found out they weren't real (at whatever age you were) did it cause any "confusion" for you? I'll bet probably not. We've all been children and we've all discovered that the "real world" was different than what we might have once thought. It doesn't destroy our innocence or create "issues". We grew up and so will our children. We should just let them.
Besides the older we get, the more we understand that things like "love", "imagination" and yes, even "Disney magic" are just as real as the things we can see and touch.

[wiltsan]

Okay, Joonyer, you made me get all teary (in a good way). Thank you so much for the feedback. Don't want to over think it but do want to do right by her. I like the approach of letting her think what she wants, I know what I think and the magic has never left me!

[baby minnie's mommy]

Both my kids know and they still love it as much as they ever had. They're 11 and 8. My son's favorite meals are the character meals so he can hug Tigger, etc. In my experience, knowing or not doesn't make any difference at all, the magic is still there.

Exactly. People who say "It's over" once they know are making too big a deal out of it. Um, haven't they noticed all the teens and adults waiting to meet with the characters?

Our DD is 6, and she knows about people dressing up for shows and plays, and figured out on her own the concept of voice-overs for cartoons. When we went to Disney recently she was on cloud nine talking to the Princesses! And she loved meeting Pooh and friends as well. The way I handle it is I don't intentionally mention anything about the "reality" of things like that, but if she brings it up I listen to her. I think sometimes they don't really want to discuss it, they just want to show you that they are smart kids.
When DD was a preschooler she would want to wait in line to see every character, more than riding rides. Now she's more focused on seeing specific ones, such as Ariel and Rapunzel. We can spend the day at a park without meeting any character, and she's just as happy. The way we visit the parks may have changed, but the awe and wonder and fun are still there.

[magicman]

I would never say that they are not real. I am still debating whether they are or are not. Who can be sure?




Q R S T U

[darthmacho]

My daughter was about three or four when she revealed that she was aware of the situation with the characters. I felt a little sad at first, but was cheered when I asked her if that meant she didn't want to meet the characters now, and she said, "No, I still do."

[CU Tiger]

I do not see any need to reveal the truth. Kids grow up fast enough and figure this out on their own. It was not a crushing find for my DDs and they still love the world.

[Melanie]

It was never a big deal for us. The believing to non-believing was just a natural progression, and my 11 year old son still loves posing with the characters. Just let her believe what she will and discuss when she wants to.

[dreamscometrue]

I agree with other posters in letting her believe what she wants when she is ready...But here i go..How can one not believe in the Disney magic that these characters bring to us? How could my family not believe that Tigger was real when he greeted my 85 yr old mother with kisses and hugs? How could my 10yr old niece, her first visit, not believe that Tink and Fawn were real as they marveled over my niece's butterfly dresss and my sister's bling?? How could I not believe it was really Mickey welcoming me back home? It's what is in your heart that makes you believe, and it sounds like you and your daughter are on my family's track!

[DVC2004]

I would agree in letting her think what she wants. If she starts questioning, she probably really knows the answer deep down. I never told mine they weren't... and I know they know (they're 12 and 14 now lol) but I think they are more concerned about me, ha ha. They don't really ask to go meet them anymore at thier ages but they will stop and look or wave. Kids are smart, they figure things out sometimes and don't want to let us parents down!

[lovinmesomedisney]

Ha Ha....this is funny because we were just talking about this recently. My kids are now all teenagers, (Four of Them!!!) and to this day, I will never tell them that I don't believe in characters, Santa, the Easter Bunny or anything else. It drives them crazy! They reminisce about when they figured things out, and to this day I still mess with them telling them that they are all real! We go to Disney every year, sometimes 2 - 3 times a year, and they definitely know, but I think just the fact that I play it up so much, makes it that much more fun for them. No need to tell, they figure it all out by themselves, and it's much more fun to mess with them!

[thatkindofday]

You mean...they're not...REAL???

I was 12 the first time I went to WDW and they were as real to me then as they are now. The magic is what makes it worth it. My DD is only 15 months old and we are going in a couple of weeks and I can't wait to see her reaction to them and watch her grow over the years as we go back again and again.