A VERY STRANGE Jungle Cruise Skipper...

[Cookie123]

On a night of a MVMCP in December in 2004 or 2005, I heard the strangest spiel of any Jungle Cruise skipper. I remember it very well because I still have the entire thing on audio tape.
The Skipper put in all kinds of advertising plugs into his speech. In this exact order he said:
1) Drink Coca Cola Products
2) Use Kodak Film
3) Use Hulet Packard Computers
4) Nothing says I love You like
Haagendas Ice Cream (sp)
5) Preparation H
6) Taco Bell
7) Brittany Spears
8) Depends Undergarments -
When You Gotta Go.
9) TGI Fridays

He had a kid helping him do the "steering".
So into the microphone he said:

" That's right buddy, with 8 years of college, a degree, and NOTHING, and low self esteem,
you can be a jungle cruise skipper someday,
just like me".

I can quote him because I still have it on my audio cassette tape. I don't have to rely on memory.

Was anyone else there to hear this on that night ?

[KAJUNKING]

" That's right buddy, with 8 years of college, a degree, and NOTHING, and low self esteem,
you can be a jungle cruise skipper someday,
just like me".

i wasnt there but that is very funny

[CaptainJessicaSparrow]

LOL!!!

I am SO taking that skipper line for my next shift.

Although, that might have been Jake. That sounds like something of the things he would say.

Can you send me a copy of the audio file?

My ending spiel is usually something like:

"If you find your feet are wet when you get out of the boat, guess what? You got out on the wrong side. Get back in and try again. That's what my mom always said - if at first you don't succeed, try try again....Yeah, she's really proud....of my brothers. Kids, please stay in school. Do not become a Jungle Cruise Skipper like me."

[SAHDad]

" That's right buddy, with 8 years of college, a degree, and NOTHING, and low self esteem,
you can be a jungle cruise skipper someday,
just like me".

Heh. When asked about my education, I tell people that I have "a BA in History, or, a 4 year prep course that enables me to ask 'You want fries with that'?"

[Imagineer1981]

I like when they ad-lib, keeps it fresh

[Bethis26fan]

lol I just love this ride.

[Gator]

"If you find your feet are wet when you get out of the boat, guess what? You got out on the wrong side. Get back in and try again. That's what my mom always said - if at first you don't succeed, try try again....Yeah, she's really proud....of my brothers. Kids, please stay in school. Do not become a Jungle Cruise Skipper like me."

That part about the brothers is hilarious. I hope I get you as my skipper when I go.

[kbean]

Thats funny. I can relate. Graduated college and I'm a janitor for the post office.

[Mousemates]

:

"If you find your feet are wet when you get out of the boat, guess what? You got out on the wrong side. Get back in and try again. "

nice line

[Goofy Forever]

All of that is very funny!!!!

[TheRustyScupper]

1) At least he put Prep-H before Brittany Spear.
2) I always get a pain when people mention her name.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

1) At least he put Prep-H before Brittany Spear.
2) I always get a pain when people mention her name.

I wonder how many people are going to get that? I thought it was funny.

I've heard them say to stay in college but that was a new speil to me! Poor guy sounds like he really does have low self esteem.

[Scott C]

One of my favorite rides was a few years ago. We were the only guests on the boat -- and get this the skipper could barely speak english -- she was from China -- I think that it may have been some sort of training for Hong Kong CM's. She knew when something was supposed to be funny, but she did not know the spiel(i.e. she would point and say butterfly and start giggling) There were a couple of suits with clipboards also on board. The whole ride was hilarious. I might have been upset if I was not so familiar with the ride. It made my evening.

Thanks
Scott C

[Melanie]

We had one a few years back at MNSSHP who was totally off his spiel. I think his name was Tyler. ???? HILARIOUS! He had that boat of women dying with laughter. Absolute best Jungle 'Cruise' of my life!

[indytraveler]

I've had my share of good ones and bad ones, even had a cruise for my family of 7 one day. "The stroller races down Main St. after Wishes" is always a good one. But this guy sounds like a real keeper. Hope we get him or you CaptainJessica next time.

[dnickels]

The bit towards the end......

".....[my parents are] really proud....of my sister/brother........ "

must be one of the good standbys because I think I hear that every time I'm on it. Different variations of course, sometimes the brother is a doctor sometimes it's something else.

I love the African elephant / Indian elephant bit too!

[PiratesLifeForMe3]

One of my favorite rides was a few years ago. We were the only guests on the boat -- and get this the skipper could barely speak english -- she was from China -- I think that it may have been some sort of training for Hong Kong CM's. She knew when something was supposed to be funny, but she did not know the spiel(i.e. she would point and say butterfly and start giggling) There were a couple of suits with clipboards also on board. The whole ride was hilarious. I might have been upset if I was not so familiar with the ride. It made my evening.

Thanks
Scott C

I experienced the same thing. Except in our case I think our Chinese skipper only knew one phrase in English and that was "Still having good time." It was definitely the highlight of our vacation and our family still quotes it today.

[CaptainJessicaSparrow]

The bit towards the end......

".....[my parents are] really proud....of my sister/brother........ "

must be one of the good standbys because I think I hear that every time I'm on it. Different variations of course, sometimes the brother is a doctor sometimes it's something else.

I love the African elephant / Indian elephant bit too!

A lot of what we say though really isn't OG. Like...our brothers, and the elephants. In fact, most of you have probably never heard a full original spiel.

[hlkeck]

The line I have remembered since 8th grade...a long long time ago...and I've forever quoted it was "And here is Schweitzer Falls, named after the famous Dr. Albert Falls."

That cracked me up when I was a kid!

And yes, Rusty's post made me laugh out loud (unusual in and of itself), so a few of us got it at least.

[brownie]

My ending spiel is usually something like:

"If you find your feet are wet when you get out of the boat, guess what? You got out on the wrong side. Get back in and try again. That's what my mom always said - if at first you don't succeed, try try again....Yeah, she's really proud....of my brothers. Kids, please stay in school. Do not become a Jungle Cruise Skipper like me."

I like it! I would keep using this one.