Needing to Vent...

[Figgyluv03]

Okay, so DBF and I broke up about a month ago. It's been over for awhile and ashamed to say that I have a crush on another guy. I have for years, but never need anything because of DBF. So, my friend went out with my crush once and he never called her again.

So, it's been a couple years since they first dated and she knows I'm really into him. We ran into him after a meeting one night when he was on his way into work and we all started talking. They were talking about his number and to make sure it was still the same as it was. Well, he left and I sent him a text so he would have my number. And he text me back. Fine and dandy, whatever.

A couple days later, my so called friend and I go bowling. Well, she got a little drunk and started texting my crush (mind you, she's kind of seeing someone right now). I don't know how many times she ended up texting him, but the next day I wrote to him and apologized even though I had nothing to do with it. Well, he never wrote me back.

So I let a couple days go by and I text him to see what was going on. Here it is, three days later, and still no reply. I'm really hoping that he doesn't thing I'm loud and obnoxious like she is and that my personality is somewhat close to hers. She refuses to tell me what she put in those texts.

If she had such a problem me liking him, why couldn't she have told me and be honest with me instead of ruining anythign he and I could have had together. It just doesn't make any sense. So here I sit, miserable as anything all because she ruined something that could have been wonderful.

So we went to a demonstration last night and I did nothing but give her the cold shoulder. I really need to get up the nerve and tell her that I was really hurt by what she did. I have to let it out soon or I'm going to explode.

Sorry, just needed a place to vent. Feel free to leave some advise or encouraging words. I could use some right about now.

[offwego]

I'm a little behind but were the multiple texts from your number or your friends?

And the fact she won't tell you is odd.

I'd let it cool off for a while longer. (after all you have no way of knowing what he's up to how busy he may be etc.) then try again if you think you should.

Otherwise just focus on being busy and doing things you enjoy and you'll meet someone right for you.

[Marker]

Once again, I should probably keep my mouth shut, but you asked..... So if you don't want to hear it, don't read it.

My first thought, when you commented that she refuses to tell you what she texted him about, was why should she. Sorry, but that's between the two of them, regardless of what they were saying, why should it be your business. And to assume that there was something going on between them because they were texting is a bit presumptuous. Perhaps there is, or perhaps there isn't, but texting doesn't make it so. Heaven knows I've sent text messages to a lot of people with absolutely no mysterious motives. And then, the fact that you were sending messages appologizing for your friend texting, well franking, would strike me as a bit obsessive, and might creep me out a bit if I were him.

Perhaps, the reason he hasn't called you back is because he doesn't want to. Perhaps, it has absolutely nothing to do with your friend. Just because you want him to into you, doesn't make it so.

Also, from what you've said, the two of them do have a history together. That being the case, why should it be assumed that your "claim" on him is somehow more relavant than hers.

Again, sorry for the dose of reality, for you ask for it, and that's my opinion. I'd suggest chill out, back off. If it's meant to be it will be. If it has to be forced, then it's probably not right anyway.

[Ian]

I pretty much agree with Mark. I'd back off and see what happens.

[ncscgirl2005]

I'm backing Mark on this again too (hey Mark you ever thought about getting your own practice? I could use a little help too). I don't mean this in a rude or harsh way but did you stop to think that perhaps he's just not in to you? It happens all the time. Don't waste your energy stressing over this. Good Luck!

[crazeedizneefinatic]

Could be that she texted him some pretty offensive things about how you like him? Perhaps scared him off, especially if he thought they were from you. Personally, I would confront the friend and confront her good. If she is smearing your name or making you look like a fool because she cannot handle her liquor, I would say adious to her. Seems to me that if she would not tell you what she said it had to be offensive. Seems also she may still have a "thing" for him. She is jealous! This could possibly have nothing to do with how he feels about you, especailly if you did not write those things. First thing to do is stop trying to make contact with him till you straighten out what has happened with your so called friend. If she made you look like a fool I would absolutely make her tell him what happened to clear your name and drop both like a bad habit. If he truly likes you and knows what happened by HER telling him, he will come around.

[crazeedizneefinatic]

Forgot to add. Don't let this get you down. He possibly could like you but was offended or scared off by whatever was texted to him. Don't immediately think your the one who is on the outs or let anyone definately tell you that. Keep your head up. Seems to me something fishy is going on. If there was no situation and you called and he never called back than its a definate answer he's not into you and your cue to move on but the circumstances make me believe he got scared off.

[Hammer]

I am going to say something that is exceptionally rare: I agree with Ian (agreeing with Mark isn't that odd) . I would ease up on your pursuit from him. This is coming from a single woman a few years older than you. Honestly, would you want to be with someone who would form his opinion of you from text messages from someone else rather than actually talking to you himself?

[Jimenyfan]

I pretty much agree with Mark. I'd back off and see what happens.

Gotta go with Mark, Ian and Christine on this one.

[pink]

I also agree, you just need to give it time to see what happens. You've contacted him twice and now it's his turn. If he is into you then he will write back and if he doesn't don't get affended. There will be someone out there for you just be patient and things will fall into place sooner or later.

[Figgyluv03]

Thanks guys, I'm gonna give it awhile to let things blow over. I've been avoiding this so called "friend" all week. I'm really hoping she didn't say anything that would hurt my reputation. I agree with what someone said early. She's probably just jealous and/or stalkerish. She wanted to drive by his house the next day. Thankfully I talked her out of it. Who knows what that could have turned into.

And sorry I didn't make it clear, but she was texting from her phone. If she was texting from mine, I'm sure I'd be able to go back in and trace the messages. I know I'm young, but seriously, cell phones are way too complicated for me!

[tinkerbell04]

Good luck, I think that is the best thing to do right now.

[thrillme]

There are other FISH in the sea. I may be a bit old school but there are a lot of guys out there that still like to be the pursuer rather than the pursuee...Sometimes the "hard to get" scenerio is "exciting". I'd let bygones be bygones but perhaps look for someone new to hang out with.

I'm by far NOT a professional texter. If someone sends me a text message...they'd better plan on picking up the phone because I'll be calling them. I still like to hear voices.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

I agree, if you've already contacted him twice and gotten nothing back, I'd back off for awhile. Wait a couple of weeks and then maybe send a Hi How are you text, but keep it light and friendly.

[mrsgaribaldi]

Leave him alone and find someone else. He's not worth the trouble

[Not2Loud]

Texting...it is amazing how it has become such a common practice, even among adults. I thought the same thing with email 6-7 years ago. I wonder what is next in our tech revolution?

Don't get me wrong...I am only 33, so not too far out of current trends. Yet, it seems we are using technology because we can't face life in person sometimes.

Anyways...I would let it go at this point. Is it worth losing your friend over? Guys are a dime a dozen (I know, I am one of them...but married ). Keep moving forward!

[prprincess]

Are you still avoiding your friend? If some time passes and you still find that you want to be friends with her, then definitely talk to her about what's annoying you. Sometimes people just don't have any idea that what they're doing is bothering someone, and they will never find out if you don't tell them. Even if other people don't think that what you are upset about is legit, your feelings are your feelings and should be addressed.

But definitely just let things be with the guy. When I was dating that was one thing that I always tried to keep in mind--whenever I pursued actively, things always went sour. But whenever I let things happen naturally, they happened!

Don't let it bug you!

[starryeyes21]

I would say that it's time to let this one go. How long have you and this girl been friends. Is it really worth losing a long standing friendship over a guy?

Here's the thing. You have no idea what she was texting. It could have had nothing at all to do with you. Not to sound mean, but you are making some pretty grand assumptions here. If she did text him stuff about you liking him...so what. My guess is he already knew you had a crush on him. Guys are more perceptive than we give them credit for.

My main point is this....if a man likes you nothing will stop him from getting to you. There are guys out there that defy family, friends, pets, etc to date a woman they are interested in. He doesn't want to date you. Even if he tells you that your friend influenced his decision, it's a cop-out.

To quote a line from my favorite show..... "he's just not that into you."

[Figgyluv03]

This is a newer friend, like within the last couple of months and I'm starting to learn some disturbing things about her that she herself has told me, so I'm probably better off just staying away from her. As far as the guy is conserned, he's definetely worth it. I am just going to lay low for awhile and see how things pan out. For all I know, he probably still thinks my ex and I are still together.